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Our hearts are still broken...
Dec. 30th, 2018 09:19 pm***Trigger warning Death
Writing this piece is emotionally difficult, but strangely cathartic. Six years ago, a genuinely magnificent person was ripped from this plane of existence, by a drunk, and under the influence driver.
I loved this young woman as wholeheartedly as I love my own children, our dearest Uncle Mel.
Attempting to recreate, what Melissa meant to my family, and why we loved her so, in this, a paltry handful or two of paragraphs will be a herculean task.
Experiencing her warmth and gentle acceptance of humanity's pitfalls, can't be done with words. How can people comprehend the phenomenal being, who went quietly spreading her gifts to brighten someone's world, without knowing Melissa.
Gratitude for this young woman is impossible to convey. She spent a lot of time patiently steering my high functioning, Autistic son, through the social graces. Oh, she could and rightfully would, become exasperated with his forgetfulness, but turn right around after taking a few deep breaths, and help him navigate through whatever mishap or drama his irresponsibility caused.
Mel did have her own troubles and concerns, yet she always found time for my son. She was his shoulder to lean on when life issues were rendering both his sister and I unable to be his strength. Melissa, without asking, quietly stepped in to fill the void.
Melissa knew his secrets, keeping them close, and understood his dreams. Nick was her little brother and she loved him; and she was his big brother and he loved her. It was as simple as that.
*******
Besides watching Melissa grow from awkward, nerdy, young teen to young adult, I was given the pleasure of working with her for a year, covering third shift for WaWa. Many interesting moments were shared, from harmonizing together singing along with the Indigo Girls, to coming up with comical posters for why the WaWa toaster was being cleaned; In hopes of fending off the irate customers wanting a toasted sandwich.
Regular's learning it was Mel drawing these cartoons, made it a point to come in and see them. I actually sold one for the exorbitant price of a dollar(!) with the customer asking Mel to sign it. Teasing that she was now a 'professional artist' I watched the joyful disbelief, dawning across her face as the realization hit her - A stranger thought her artwork was good enough to want for themselves!
Did I mention her voice yet? Clear and sweet. I'd needle her, telling her I was going to make her try out for American Idol. She'd pooh-pooh me, saying how crazy I was, but she'd sing a little louder secretly pleased.
She endured my pestering her with probing questions (You know mothers!) about my son and daughter; and working together gave us plenty of opportunities to have philosophical discussions of life and love in all its bewildering randomness. (Sigh) I miss those talks.
*******
Melissa's kinship (friendship isn't strong enough) with my family survived her falling in love with my daughter- while knowing Alicia loved another. But their bond was precious to them, so much so, it also survived my daughter's marriage. In fact Melissa loved Alicia enough to be the 'man of honor' and wear a dress in the wedding! Everyone still smiles at the image!
Melissa loved my children without restriction, and when my daughter's Marine husband was being deployed to Iraq, she up and moved to North Carolina, ostensibly to keep my daughter from becoming lonely. (We all knew she was missing my daughter.)
During my son-in-law's next deployment to Afghanistan, again Melissa stayed. This time to assist my daughter throughout her pregnancy. And assist she did! Melissa was with Alicia when she began labor, driving her to hospital, and was the third person in the family to hold my grandson.
She was my grandson's Uncle Mel, but her gentle spirit, and the love she had for him, is gone. True, Melissa hasn't been here, shaping, molding, or helping him grow into the silly nine year old he is, but we remember her for him... and we remember her for us.
Mostly, however we remember the love, which along with our treasured memories, can never truly be lost, when
we remember, Melissa.
Dedicated to Melissa Foraker - 4/19/1988- 1/3/2013
**Please don't drink and drive. Always have a designated driver. Melissa's car was struck head on- she died on impact.
The other driver lived.
Writing this piece is emotionally difficult, but strangely cathartic. Six years ago, a genuinely magnificent person was ripped from this plane of existence, by a drunk, and under the influence driver.
I loved this young woman as wholeheartedly as I love my own children, our dearest Uncle Mel.
Attempting to recreate, what Melissa meant to my family, and why we loved her so, in this, a paltry handful or two of paragraphs will be a herculean task.
Experiencing her warmth and gentle acceptance of humanity's pitfalls, can't be done with words. How can people comprehend the phenomenal being, who went quietly spreading her gifts to brighten someone's world, without knowing Melissa.
Gratitude for this young woman is impossible to convey. She spent a lot of time patiently steering my high functioning, Autistic son, through the social graces. Oh, she could and rightfully would, become exasperated with his forgetfulness, but turn right around after taking a few deep breaths, and help him navigate through whatever mishap or drama his irresponsibility caused.
Mel did have her own troubles and concerns, yet she always found time for my son. She was his shoulder to lean on when life issues were rendering both his sister and I unable to be his strength. Melissa, without asking, quietly stepped in to fill the void.
Melissa knew his secrets, keeping them close, and understood his dreams. Nick was her little brother and she loved him; and she was his big brother and he loved her. It was as simple as that.
*******
Besides watching Melissa grow from awkward, nerdy, young teen to young adult, I was given the pleasure of working with her for a year, covering third shift for WaWa. Many interesting moments were shared, from harmonizing together singing along with the Indigo Girls, to coming up with comical posters for why the WaWa toaster was being cleaned; In hopes of fending off the irate customers wanting a toasted sandwich.
Regular's learning it was Mel drawing these cartoons, made it a point to come in and see them. I actually sold one for the exorbitant price of a dollar(!) with the customer asking Mel to sign it. Teasing that she was now a 'professional artist' I watched the joyful disbelief, dawning across her face as the realization hit her - A stranger thought her artwork was good enough to want for themselves!
Did I mention her voice yet? Clear and sweet. I'd needle her, telling her I was going to make her try out for American Idol. She'd pooh-pooh me, saying how crazy I was, but she'd sing a little louder secretly pleased.
She endured my pestering her with probing questions (You know mothers!) about my son and daughter; and working together gave us plenty of opportunities to have philosophical discussions of life and love in all its bewildering randomness. (Sigh) I miss those talks.
*******
Melissa's kinship (friendship isn't strong enough) with my family survived her falling in love with my daughter- while knowing Alicia loved another. But their bond was precious to them, so much so, it also survived my daughter's marriage. In fact Melissa loved Alicia enough to be the 'man of honor' and wear a dress in the wedding! Everyone still smiles at the image!
Melissa loved my children without restriction, and when my daughter's Marine husband was being deployed to Iraq, she up and moved to North Carolina, ostensibly to keep my daughter from becoming lonely. (We all knew she was missing my daughter.)
During my son-in-law's next deployment to Afghanistan, again Melissa stayed. This time to assist my daughter throughout her pregnancy. And assist she did! Melissa was with Alicia when she began labor, driving her to hospital, and was the third person in the family to hold my grandson.
She was my grandson's Uncle Mel, but her gentle spirit, and the love she had for him, is gone. True, Melissa hasn't been here, shaping, molding, or helping him grow into the silly nine year old he is, but we remember her for him... and we remember her for us.
Mostly, however we remember the love, which along with our treasured memories, can never truly be lost, when
we remember, Melissa.
Dedicated to Melissa Foraker - 4/19/1988- 1/3/2013
**Please don't drink and drive. Always have a designated driver. Melissa's car was struck head on- she died on impact.
The other driver lived.
